Dear God
I’ve been a good dog. I played with the kids, I fathered fifteen pups. I danced the tango in the moonlight with beautiful bitches.
Now, I have but one prayer. Just one.
Turn me into a paella.
I want to eat myself.
one more for the bone,
she likes lips and
one more for the bone,
she dont need no diamond rings,
couldn’t get her through the door,
so i did her on the floor,
one more for the bone
let’s get naked baby,
roll under the sheets,
i ask one favor baby,
dont you roll on top of me
Poetry by Poison (one more for the bone)
Just got 50 new followers in a couple hours
after no follows in over a Month. Where did you all come from?
Especially seeing as I haven’t posted anything in a while.
I have a submission to stick up, that will be with you shortly. Any more for any more?
Woke up this morning, feelin’ fine
there’s someone special on my mind
I asked to see her this week, and she told me I could
(he asked to see her and she told him he could)
Somethin’ tells me I’m into something no really I can’t be arsed now. Look, I moved this far. Bitch can come to me instead. She’s probably frigid or something. Look, it’s fine.
I’ll see her next week.
Aaaaaaaaaaawoowoowoowoowoo
Aaaaaaaaweenieweenieweenie.
Tickle my tummy. Tiiiicklllee myyyy tummmyyyyyy. All seven of you. There’s enough tummy to go round.
ROUND. GET IT?
I slay me.
Oi mate. You got a problem?
Fuck off. So I’m shaped like a barrel.
Seriously, I could punch your teeth through the back of your head.
Bleedin’ liberty. That’s what it is.
When I was young, I had a dream. I’ll be honest, it’s not a dream many dogs have. Or any species really.
I wanted to be an owl.
So I set out to achieve my dream. I need to be that magical oval shape. Being a dog is shit. I know, I know, I can’t fly. But I found a nice Owl chick that doesn’t mind. She loves me for who I am.
I also take up two seats in a car. So… consummating our relationship may be a problem.
I like Turtles.
Turtles are my fave
If I had a turtle
I would call it Dave.
KISS ME I’M BRITISH.
I have a human face.
Also, I slimmed down. I can now do normal things and shit straight.
http://blogs.sundaymercury.net/weirdscience/2010/10/fat-dog-alfie-sheds-the-pounds.html
