Fuck Yeah Fat Dogs!

tele-emmy:

My fat sausage dog :3

No, don’t take a photo of me on this sofa.  It’s awful.  I mean… god, the fabric.  

Help me I am in Hell

I’m so fat, I grew another dog from my right flank.  

Yeah, I look guilty.  It’s all a front though.  I’m glad I did it, and I’ll do it again, this time from my left flank.  I’d be like Cerberus, just chunky and with more mouths to scarf lasagne with. 

I’ve been loyal.  I really, really have.  I was a good pup, lean and strong.  I fetched papers, brought slippers, and hardly ever ripped up the curtains.  I only pooed on the kitchen floor the once, and the smell was so bad I learned all on my own never to poo in the house.  

So, as I got older, I was loved.  I was fed pork rind, bacon, lasagne, steak, bread, cake, pie, all that wonderful, wonderful stuff. 

And here, in my salad days, a time when I just want to lay back, relax and think about my conquests. 

A crazy bloke in a red leotard comes and bums me. 

It’s just not sportsmanlike.

Submitted by Mrs-Satan

one more for the bone,
she likes lips and 
one more for the bone,
she dont need no diamond rings,
couldn’t get her through the door,
so i did her on the floor,
one more for the bone

let’s get naked baby,
roll under the sheets,
i ask one favor baby,
dont you roll on top of me

Poetry by Poison (one more for the bone)