Fuck Yeah Fat Dogs!

I just farted on your cake
I just farted on your cake
I did a pout and a smell popped out
And I just farted on your cake

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I’m so fat, I grew another dog from my right flank.  

Yeah, I look guilty.  It’s all a front though.  I’m glad I did it, and I’ll do it again, this time from my left flank.  I’d be like Cerberus, just chunky and with more mouths to scarf lasagne with. 

Dear God

I’ve been a good dog.  I played with the kids, I fathered fifteen pups.  I danced the tango in the moonlight with beautiful bitches. 

Now, I have but one prayer.  Just one. 

Turn me into a paella. 

I want to eat myself. 

Submitted by Mrs-Satan

one more for the bone,
she likes lips and 
one more for the bone,
she dont need no diamond rings,
couldn’t get her through the door,
so i did her on the floor,
one more for the bone

let’s get naked baby,
roll under the sheets,
i ask one favor baby,
dont you roll on top of me

Poetry by Poison (one more for the bone)

I wandered lonely as a cloud
a heavy cloud
full of chops and treats and doggybix
and steak and chicken and marrow
and candy and beans
and tacos and milkshake
and cookies
and toast
and I forgot the rest of the poem
I want
some
cake
and
pie 

I have had cake and pie
and now I lie
lonely and bloated
but very happy
under this weird heat lamp

OH MY GOD

THIS IS AN OVEN

YOU HAVE BEEN FATTENING ME UP
TO COOK ME
YOU’RE SO MEAN 

(Amber, aka Waddles.  Submitted by boobookittyfux)

Nelli the Puggle had eaten fifteen microwaved lasagnes and vomited all over the curtains.  This was a good day.

A very good day.